How to be perfect… in your own way

Manchester (UK)-based motivational speaker Georgina Kirk

Motivational speaker Georgina Kirk

Welcome to the website that accompanies my talk How to Be Perfect… in your own way. If you’ve landed here without hearing (about) the talk first, my name is Georgie and I am, amongst other things, a UK motivational speaker, based in Manchester. I’m a person whose life imploded under the strain of trying to be perfect and I’m also a coach/trainer in effective communication, where I see many of my clients wrestling with that same demon. It took me ten years to work out what was going on and how to deal with it, but the results have transformed me from a tense, anxious, frustrated individual into a relaxed, happy, fulfilled one. As I started to share with my clients the insights and ideas I discovered, they began to blossom as well – and gradually this talk evolved, offering liberation and inspiration to a wider audience.

I’m a member of the Professional Speaking Association and specialise in stand-up psychology.

When it comes to humans, what does it mean to be perfect?

What does being perfect mean to you? Do you spend your life trying to be superman/superwoman, strong, capable, never making a mistake? Does the fear of not being perfect prevent you from doing things you’d like to do?

The tyranny of ‘perfect’ has gone on long enough! I collapsed under its yoke and spent ten years studying, researching, thinking and experimenting, examining what it’s really all about and looking for a positive solution. Finally, I found a formula that works and I’m excited to share it with you.

Rather than some mythical, unattainable standard, let’s give ‘perfect’ a new – and wholly positive – definition. Being perfect is NOT about being classically flawless; it’s about a comfortable and secure balance between being happy as we are and striving to improve.

At the intersection of the Venn diagram is a state of equilibrium that allows us to live in psychological comfort while also becoming a better and better person. Another way of looking at it, which is equally true, although it took me many years to believe it, is as a self-perpetuating cycle. Striving to improve brings fulfilment and is part of being happy. Crucially, coming to accept and love ourselves as we are makes it infinitely easier to improve. This may be counter-intuitive but it’s the secret to success.

How would you visualise the perfect friend, boss, or even parent? Someone who always does everything right, always looks great, always knows the answers? Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who can make a howling error, recognise it, apologise and move on? Someone who has bad-hair days and can still function? Who is open about not knowing something and proceeds to find out?

Perfect people get things wrong: what distinguishes them is how they deal with it when they do.

We can all be perfect… in our own way

Being perfect means thriving as the people we are – the people we really are; not the ones we’re expected to be, not the ones we feel we ought to be, who we genuinely are. It can take quite a bit of digging to unearth who we really are but this essential spadework is what allows us to build fulfilling lives on firm foundations.

I had always thought I knew myself pretty well, and I was shocked to discover how many of my core beliefs, values and aspirations were actually not mine at all but (mainly) my mother’s. The process of sorting through them, deciding what to keep, what to adjust and what to discard altogether, was disorientating at first but gradually I began to feel more and more liberated. Coming to understand who I am turned out to be the first step towards being happy, stable and confident. I hadn’t expected this but it makes sense: the reason I was so harsh with myself all those years was that I was failing to meet a standard of ‘perfect’ that was based on what I believed other people wanted me to be. The mismatch between what I was aiming at and what I really want in life was making me miserable – and unproductive. I disliked myself because I wasn’t what I  felt I should be. Now I’ve dispensed with those shoulds, I can be happy as I am. I sabotaged my own progress because my goals were out of line with my true priorities. Now I’m heading in the direction I want to go, I’m moving forward, learning, growing, improving all the time.

To be perfect in your own way is to be the perfect you, once all the layers of expectation, adaptation and pretence have been stripped away. Through getting to know who you really are, you can become who you really want to be.

This sounds great, you may be thinking, but what does it mean in practice? How do we make this happen? Well, this is basically what my talk is about. I’ll take you through the ideas that guided me out of the psychological swamp and along the path to happiness and fulfilment; I’ll give you concrete examples of how changing my approach changed my life; and I’ll show you how you can find the perfect balance between being happy as you are and always getting better.

Where can you hear this motivational talk?

If you’re organising an event and might like to book me to deliver this talk, please get in touch and let’s discuss how I can add most value.

I also present the talk at public events. If you’d like me to let you know when I’m next going to be speaking in your area, please either contact me or sign up for my newsletter.